always feel a little weird when someone says "an async chat is not the best way to discuss this complex issue, should we have a meeting?" because to me the actual opposite is true. If i have time to read other people's toughts several times, write and edit to respond in my own time, things tend to go better. In a meeting I need to process immediately and there's no time to think.

I think maybe people start to feel uncomfortable with hard discussions when they can't see other people's friendly faces to calm them down. they think we're fighting. we're not fighting, we're writing hard.