Getting responses explaining to me that ejection is triggered by a handle, not a button. Guys, I know that. The joke is just objectively less funny if the punchline is “keep your hands off the fucking handles”

Ha, they were a recruiting officer! I wonder if they'll send 'em back to their original AFSC after this?

"Look, we want you guys to be in the news but this is ridiculous."

wait, the little lever between your legs isn't for adjusting the seat?

and bear in mind that your eject won't be a button, it will be some kind of mechanical actuator. A lever or a rope or what-have-you.

If you're going to rest your hands on it you had better be VERY SURE that it is not something you're not supposed to keep your grubby mitts off of. If it is a different color than its surroundings then DO NOT TOUCH IT. Best just not to touch anything unless the pilot explicitly says to!

zero-zero ejection is terrifying, has claimed a surprising number of lives although I think it's less of A Deadly Thing nowadays?

if he was able to crawl, he was damn lucky. It could have been paralysis

: Plot twist: He was looking for a quick way into the Martin-Baker Ejection Tie Club.