A Rant About Chronic Pain:

I have lived with a disease that causes chronic pain since I was a teenager.

Chronic pain is a real asshole. It isn't just about being in pain, chronic pain and inflammation affects every part of your body. It gives you a continuous stream of cortisol, it makes your blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugars higher, so, you're very likely to deal with heart issues, stroke, sleep issues, diabetes, and all manner of metabolic issues. It fucks up your stomach too, nausea, acid reflux, aching guts. Oh, and it's harder to lose and maintain weight too. It's harder to exercise regularly. It raises your anxiety and stress levels, so, now you have to deal with that. Add to that the fun of people who just don't believe you could be hurting that much.

So, let's talk about pain management, if you've been there, you just cringed a little. The first thing you need to understand is that the goal of pain management is not to take away your pain, it is to make it manageable enough for you to function. I will preface this by saying I am incredibly thankful for modern medicine, I don't think I'd be alive without it, and I've been lucky to have decent doctors and to also be able to afford the care I've needed at least for 50% of my life. Sometimes you know pain is temporary, you have an end in sight, but for many people with chronic pain this isn't the reality. For many people, they know this will only get worse. Now imagine every time you ask for help it's met with suspicion, and I get it, pain meds come with an avalanche of their own side effects and health issues. I've stayed in a lot of pain so many times, because I'm very afraid of being an addict. There is a level of pain where you stop caring, and you just need it to stop.

So, now you tell someone who has never dealt with this what you're dealing with, and you get to hear all their ideas. These people mean well, they really do, but it's very hard to smile and say thanks when someone suggests maybe you should try their anti-inflammatory diet, acupuncture, massage, eastern medicine, scam vitamins, essential oils, exercise routine, fucking meditation, ect. If I could meditate my way out of my insides being fucked up, I would, and believe me I've tried, I still try. I've tried and tried everything. And let's not ignore the best part of this kind if advice, it's all usually really fucking expensive and time consuming. Regular massage does actually help with my pain management, but pain meds cost me $5 and massage is $50. Juicing 40 pounds of fruit and vegetables a week, costs more than my utilities. You think, I didn't try eating low carb, higher protein, low fodmaps, gluten free? I certainly have.

The point in this long rambling post is to remember, People who mention they are taking pain meds or are in pain management aren't usually doing this to get high, they are doing it to feel normal, to feel functional, to try to get half a night of uninterrupted sleep, and even when it's working like it's supposed to they are probably still in a little bit of pain.