With Canada warming twice as fast as the global average (Government of Canada 2019), and home to more than a quarter of the world’s boreal forests, the country is experiencing this consequence of global heating firsthand.

Hey folks, I want to give you all an update on what's been going on with me lately. I haven't been around as much as I should be, which is a generous way of saying that I've been dropping the ball quite a bit over the last few months. It would be easy to just say that I've been busy and move on, but that's not the whole story.

Since I started this instance I have tried to be very transparent about my limited technical ability so that everyone understands that this is very much a process of me figuring things out as I go along. What's been harder for me to be transparent about are my mental health limitations. I've told myself that I'm just having some anxiety or a mental block when it comes to administering this instance, but at some point, sitting on the couch, looking at my phone, knowing I should pick it up and check on the instance, but feeling completely paralyzed about it, I had to admit to myself that perhaps this is what depression feels like.

The fact of the matter is that I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed lately. It's not anybody's fault and it doesn't only have to do with Beige Party. It's a confluence of factors in my life and in the world in general that have settled on my chest like a heavy weight and made me feel powerless to do anything. I've compensated by trying to avoid any kind of conflict and that has included administering this instance.

I get it. People are angry, and they have a right to be. I'm angry too, and I don't always know how to process it. I'm frightened about what's going to happen in the next four, ten, and twenty years. There was a time when I held onto the fiction that we'd all wake up from this nightmare and things would go back to normal. Now I have to admit that the normal I'm pining for has been dead for at least twenty years, and it wasn't all that great to begin with. However we get through this, it's not going to be by looking backwards, but by looking forwards, and finding people we can trust and work with to make the world that we want to live in. It's going to be a long and painful process, and I'm afraid we're just at the beginning of it. But the only way going to make it through is together.

None of this is intended as an excuse, just an explanation of where I am mentally these days. I am going try to make a concerted effort to do better and not let things get away from me as much as I have in the last few months. I can't promise I will always succeed but I can promise that I will continue to try.

One thing I want to be clear about is that I am not abandoning this instance. When I registered this domain I did it for ten years and I intend to be here for at least that long. This is a great community that we've built over the last three years. That has everything to do with all of you and very little to do with me, but I will continue to do my part to keep it going because it's worth preserving the good things in a world that is becomingevet more dismal.

I want to thank you all for continuing to bear with me and placing your trust in me. I will do my best to continue to earn that trust. For the most part my my interactions here have been positive and it's something that I really value. I feel honered to be a member of this community.

As always, if anyone has any questions or concerns, please feel free to reach out to me directly. If I haven't responded in a timely fashion, please don't hesitate to poke me about it. Yes, I might get overwhelmed at times, but I still take my administrative duties seriously and I always want to do what's best for this community. I hope that I can continue to live up to that standard.

Thanks everyone, and beige-bless